Recently I realized that something that I have been joking around about could possibly be the answer to all of our dating problems: Rate your Date. The idea is simple in concept but will most likely be much more complicated to put into practical application. It would be a website database of anyone and everyone in the dating scene in your area. I mean we have film reviews, restaurant reviews, business reviews so why not dating reviews? How many of us have started dating someone thinking that the person was genuine, sweet, caring, had a good job and so forth only to find out that they are a master of manipulation. In our present technological state we have given these individuals every tool that they need to appear as if they are everything that they are not. Faceboook is the perfect self-indulgent promotional tool and who has control over the content? The user. I am ready to turn the tables on this situation and create a little room for the truth. I have checked out the sites that exist that are related to this idea and I have found them lacking.
I would have a much more in-depth review system. I believe that they are several categories that should be considered. And this would be just as relevant to relationships as well. I wish I had read a review of my ex before getting involved with him, I’m quite sure at this point that it would not have been flattering. But back to the categories, I think it is important to consider all the realms in which there are usually complications: Family, Money, Goals, Kids, Marriage, Manners, Appearances, Personality, Mental Health, and Fidelity. I do not know about anyone else but I have been fooled on all of these fronts. A guy that I met at a bar or party was decked out in Armani and Diesel, flash forward to getting back to his place and the realization that he spends ALL of his money on clothes just to hook you. Or even better, I was dating an artist that drew and was a musician. We fell into each other rather quickly spending all of our time together, the passion was overwhelming and then he disappeared for a week. Confused and a little angry, I kept wondering what I had done until I ran into his brother. “He is bi-polar and does not take his meds, didn’t you know that?” Um, NO! All situations in which it would have been really helpful to know more about the person I was dealing with before it negatively effected me. I know it sounds too sterile and as if getting to know people is a waste of time but again in an age when it is so easy to assign yourself a character rather than being your truest self, perhaps helpful.
My friend used to joke about how we should all wear signs. For instance my sign would read: Athletic, Smart, Sassy, Intense, Masochistic tendencies, A little emotionally high maintenance, too many guy friends, extremely loyal, generous, vain, and perfectionist. Now does that describe me in all of my complexity? No. But it does gives someone a better idea of what they would be dealing with and that is more fair than if I acted as if none of those negative qualities existed. Dating just seems as if it as become way too easy to waste a bunch of time trying to get to know someone when you are not really getting to know them but the person that they want you to believe that they are. Before I knew it I was in a long-term relationship with a person that I still did not know and I thought that it was impossible to spend that much time together and still not be prepared for what happened. I would still be curious though as to how he would review me. I am sure that he would agree with the aforementioned list and I am also sure that he would add to it but I would be curious as to what he would have to say. Most likely because my review of him would be less than gracious. On many levels, he was interesting and exciting, there is no denying that and if a girl just wanted someone to play with and had no expectations whatsoever, he is perfect but for anyone seeking a deep, meaningful, committed relationship, he is their worst nightmare.
I suppose that I am just tired of spending time with people and giving them the benefit of the doubt when I should be more scrutinizing. I always feel badly for being judgemental but maybe there is something to it. Maybe dating should transition into a more employment like scenario. Fill out an application including relationship history and references. I would like to know what the ex’s think or why you really have not been in a relationship in a gazillion years. Are you really the wounded creature you act like or just a perpetual bachelor playing the jaded card to evoke my sympathy? You sure are not going to tell me the truth so maybe all the other victims will.
Main point being, we are so careful to ensure that we do not waste our time seeing a bad movie, a bad band, eat something horrifying, read a lame book, buy a glitchy gadget but when it comes to our hearts why are we so willing to put it on the chopping block and just cross our fingers?
Reviewing people: Time Management Savior or the beginning of the end for civilized dating behaviour? Tell me what you think! All I know is that I am done with all the womanizers and unfortunately, they are the most highly adaptive of all the dating predators.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBk3_lAiq4w love this remix!